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- How To Handle Disobedience: For Dominant Women
"My submissive won't do what I want!"
This is a common complaint, especially for new femdoms. This guide will help.
Whether your submissive forgets to do things you've asked of them, or doesn't complete tasks you set, or thinks it's fun to disobey, or outright says 'no' when you ask something of them, this guide is for you.
As a new Domme, disobedience can shake your confidence and leave you struggling because you just aren't sure what to do. Maybe you've tried a bunch of things to get your dynamic back on track, but it hasn't worked out as you'd hoped.
This short, sharp, practical 'How To' femdom guide is for you.
Discover why your submissive disobeys, what makes them obey, and how you can build a dynamic that makes them fall over themselves to obey you.
Far past the basics of building a relationship where obedience is a given, this guide presents an actionable strategy for handling your submissive's disobedience: SLAPS*.
SLAPS is an acronym that describes 5 practical steps that will not only help you handle your submissive's disobedience, but that will also strengthen your dynamic while you're at it.
S - Seek Clarity
L - Listen
A - Agree
P - Punish (optional)
S - Start fresh
SLAPS is not just going to help you deal with an instance of disobedience, but will help you use the experience to better understand your submissive, to improve communication, to increase intimacy, and to make your dynamic and your relationship better.
The toolset and strategies in this guide reach wider than simple disobedience and you can apply them more broadly to help improve your relationship, but at its core, it's about helping you handle your submissive's disobedience.
*This guide contains no actual slaps!
A Happy Submissive on Amazon wrote:I fell in love with this book.
The first thing that stood out to me is the book’s excellent structure, context, and graphics. The structure provides a smooth and easy to follow process beginning with the types of disobedience and includes building on the foundation of the relationship, all the way through to follow-up after resolving the disobedience.
The reason this book is unique from other books is Ferns didn’t just address how to resolve a submissive’s resistance to a Dominant’s instruction, but she peels back each layer like an onion to examine the core of the issue and then shows how to rebuild it.
I love the book’s emphasis on building and repairing the foundation of the relationship and the follow-through after the issue is resolved.
It's an easy book to read. It contains lots of common sense about managing expectations and handling communication issues. Some of Fern's examples struck far too close for home for my comfort. I could totally see myself in that situation. And interestingly, I could see my wife on the other end of it. And there's the rub.
For me, it changed the relationship I had with my wife.
Just reading the book knowing she'd already read it provided the impetus required to stop my shit and play the game properly. As a somewhat reluctant submissive, but with a desire to have my wife enjoy her desires, adopting Fern's practices proved remarkably effective.
This book is arguably just as important for the submissive to read. To understand the impact that disobedience has on the entire relationship and on the dominants confidence. But perhaps better, it provides a nice prescriptive step-by-step approach to safely break out of an uncomfortable moment in order to progress the relationship.
I recommend it.